How to be yeshivish [closed]

Hi there.

Can anyone help me?

Im trying to become yeshivish and im not sure how to go about it. thanks

shmuel yacobson, first of all that somebody is ffb or bt its not his choice as we can see in many cases, and to be accepted to a community based on that, that you must speak during chazarat hasach is disgusting... being over explicit halacha in shulchan aruch. zeev breiner

The language of your question reflects that you don’t currently view yourself as being “yeshivish”, and you’re striving to change. This is a positive sign. It indicates that you’re seriously thinking about the type of person you currently are, and the better type of person you would like to become. These types of thoughts can spur a person to grow to great levels!

I suggest a three step thought process: 1) What? 2) Why? 3) How?

[I recommend committing these thoughts to writing. Writing things out helps you to clarify your thoughts, and to sort out your emotions].

What: The first step is to identify to yourself the following points: What are the perceived positive aspects of being “yeshivish” that are inspiring you to desire to emulate that image? Are they external factors that are catching my fancy? Are they more internal? Are they aspects that speak something deeper to you?

Why: What’s in it for me? How will these aspects of the “yeshivish” lifestyle, make me a better person? Will it bring me closer to Hashem? Will it help me to better to keep His mitzvos?

How: Focus on the vision that you developed by the answers to the first two questions. This will give you a roadmap to help get you where you want to get in life.

Remember, someone traveling on an unfamiliar road is liable to get a bit lost until he reaches his destination. A seasoned traveler periodically turns to his trusty map to make sure that he’s headed in the correct direction. So too, on the road of life, constantly check your actions against the ideas generated by the above answers. This is your “roadmap”.

Also, be forewarned, that most people end up taking “wrong turns” on the road of life, and it’s the “roadmap” to helps them get back on track.

Best of all, is a traveler who has an experienced guide at his side, who shows him exactly where to go. In the same vein, on the road of life, the best thing is to have a “rebbe” at your side. This rebbe/guide does not need to be the “gadol hador”. He needs to be a “talmid chochom” who knows you well; your background, you strengths, your weaknesses, what makes you tick, etc. Such a person can help guide you to the proper path you should be taking in life.

Wishing you much success on your journey!

In my opinion being Yeshivish is not possible only if you are brought up that way. For example, a Baal Teshuva once asked someone when will he be accepted in the Frum community. He got the reply that when he starts to talk in Chazaras HaShatz then he will be considered normal.

Now, the Baal Teshuva probably freaked out at that. But the truth is, Frum people who are Yeshvish are stable and Frum yet they know when to take it chilled.

EDIT

I have since been told to wake up and look at the world normally. It is extremely unfair to tell a Baal Teshuva to chill out when he is Shteiging away. After all the Gemara says,

Where a Baal Teshuva stands a real Tzaddik isnt great enough to be with him.