Not knowing any background facts about your particular case, I’m sorry to hear about the current state of affairs.
My message to couples encountering marital strife has always been that if marriage represents the fusion of man and woman, then divorce is akin to amputation.
Sometimes, an amputation may truly be necessary. However it obviously should only be used as a last resort, for example, when a person’s life is in danger due to a gangrened limb. The same attitude should be about divorce.
Marriage can sometimes be a proverbial pain in the backside, but quite often, divorced people discover that their new situation brings with it a slew of problems, which they never envisioned before they decided to do the dastardly deed, and they would have been better off staying in the marriage, as bad as it was.
I can’t forget a former acquaintance of mine, who I knew from my yeshiva days. He married late; and divorced early. I met him one day, and asked him how things were going? He smilingly answered, “Still happily divorced!†Unfortunately, a few months later, he was dead; in a suspected suicide. While I’m not in any position to judge his actions, several decades have passed, and the memory of my last encounter with him has stayed fresh in my memory. Would he have been better off staying married? Only Hashem knows.
Again, I know zero facts about your particular case, and it’s not in my place to judge other people. Remember, it’s not over until the “get†is given. Until then, there can be hope of reconciliation.
If you feel that I can be of help in any way, please feel free to reach out to me, privately and discretely: webberebbe (at) gmail (dot) com.
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